Author: TaraTataTales

Good Morning…

Today marks 11 days post bilateral (double) mastectomy surgery and this has been a week of recovery and a week with some answers and new findings.  Monday I reported to Oncology with the amazing Dr. Garth Beinart and found out FANTASTIC news.  My lymph nodes are clear…and but for one very small area (which will be removed with the first reconstructive surgery)…I am breast cancer free!!!  YES!  My Monday news could NOT have been better.  I also had blood work drawn on Monday for the BRCA 1 & BRCA 2 tests as well as much more genetic testing.  The official pathology report was not signed off on officially…but, there is enough evidence from the phone call(s) from the doctors to give me these results.  What I am additionally to understand so far is that my breast cancer is hormone related or estrogen-progesterone receptor positive which I suppose can be good and bad and/or good or bad.  It has further been the recommendation that synthetic hormones, birth controls, etc. and I are not good friends.  Therefore,…

I have been scheduled for a hysterectomy on Wednesday April 18, 2018. 

To add, I requested this to be done quickly as my current Mirena IUD needs to be removed per doctors orders and the waiting game is not something I happen to enjoy and certainly didn’t enjoy on the first surgery.  The way I see it…I might as well go ahead and do it now.  I mean…I would rather get it done while I am already recovering from one surgery as opposed to healing from one and then undergoing another.  Or at least thats what make sense to me.  I just wanna get ALL of this done and behind me.

In other better news…I was able to get 2 of 4 drains removed on Tuesday.  That was an interesting experience.  Much to my surprise, the 2 drains actually hurt more than I thought they would to get removed.  Keeping my fingers crossed…hopefully I will get one or both of the other 2 removed this coming Tuesday.  If anyone out there is not familiar with these drains or haven’t had them…the are quite the commitment and not so much fun.  To have them sewn into your body and having tubes draining your bodily fluids into little bulbs is pretty underwhelming.  Oh well…all part of the process.  Oh…and did I mention, they have to be “drained” at least 2-3-4 times per day and recorded.  Many, many, many thanks to THE SHEEEEESHER, Trace for helping me for the past 10 days until her (very quick departure & return, I hope)…and now to my Sweet T.  YES, T stood up and is filling in as Director of Drains.  Not real sure he is glad that my sister passed the torch, but I sure am appreciative of of both of them and T has done a great job!

To conclude…we are now midway through UH Cougar Baseball season…and its time to go out and dominate some conference play!  #COGOOGS!!!  #BeatTheOponent

It is both easy and hard to believe that one week ago tonight, I was laying at Houston Methodist in my hospital room after just having had a skin sparing, but not nipple sparing bilateral (double) mastectomy and initial reconstruction with tissue expanders, and removal of sentinel nodes on both sides with 4 drains. Surgery was on Monday and I stayed in the hospital for 2 nights. I was dismissed on Wednesday afternoon and have been recovering at home ever since. This has been quite a physical and emotional experience. Part of what I did not know about myself was how I would react post-surgery.

My nightmares, scares, hopes and big questions were:
1) Can they or did they get it all(the opponent…aka, for me Breast Cancer)?
2) What will they find and when will I know?
3) How bad am I going to hurt and how long will I be in pain?
4) Will I ever feel or be the same again?
5) What will I look like when I unwrap the bandages for the first time?
6) How will I react to my new body?
7) Will I feel relieved that the opponent or at least most of it is gone?
8) And ultimately…What is next?

What I have come to realize is that you can’t get all of your questions answered in the time that you would like to and you feel differently as time progresses. Not to sound so cliche, but it truly is all a waiting game and an exercise of patience. Much to my “patient” pleasant surprise, I have been much more calm and at ease than I had thought or had given myself credit. Maybe that is because I am just glad that the surgery is behind me. Maybe it is because I have more answers. Maybe it is because I am just a bit tired. What I can tell you for sure is…

I have the most amazing family and friends any person could hope or wish for!!! For anyone out there wondering if it matters…there is no question.  It is the very power from which I have been able to derive, gain and maintain strength.  Lucky am I to have such powerful, kind, thoughtful and giving people surrounding me. It is to them that I give credit for my being able to so far #beattheopponent.  To give just a few examples and thank you’s:  (FYI…These are only the thank you’s I have up to now…and further, I would like to send a blanket thank you to everyone that has been there for me.)

Tomorrow, I have a big doctor appointment and will go through the answers (I hope).  Until then…again, a few (or a lot) of thank you’s:

1) To my sweet and wonderful husband, who has been there every step of the way…Thank you! I love you with all my heart and could not do this without you. I can’t wait to snuggle with you again!!!
2) To my children…Maddy, JR, Kiki, Matthew & Tallon…it is for you all that I fight the hardest and must go on. You make me proud, I love you and I appreciate your understanding and for being there for me.
3) To my amazing sister Tracy, brother Ross, Keith, Tallon, & Sage…Thank you so much for the pre-surgery…Spring Break…mental, physical and emotional Puerto Rico strengthening trip. I very much contribute this to my preparedness and “ready-to-go’ being. Ross…what can I say…you are my rock and I can depend on you for anything and everything. Tracy…I can’t even begin to express it. Seriously, you have been and currently still are my drain queen. Who in the world would ever want to be or do that. So gross. I could basically just start an entire blog dedicated to all that you have done for me throughout this entire process. Thank you for being my everything…for making me laugh, for making me cry, for challenging me, for questioning everything, for recording everything and for being me when I can’t. Thankfully & selfishly I have you all to myself as MY SHEEEESHER. No words can express truly.
4) To my best friends Kristy, Diane, Trish & Sarah …seriously, lucky am I to have you in my life…and I thank you with all of my heart. Not only have you been there every step of the way…I need you and there you have been.  Kristy, to you I will always give credit to for THE amazing, Dr. Melissa Crosby. THE BEST. Not to mention, the heart pillow, help with Keekers, help with me, listening to me, coming to the hospital, coming to the house, setting up coming-home balloons, making me laugh and all you do and have done for me and the family. Thank you! D, for anyone that doesn’t already know…this amazing woman organized a food train for my family which extends through April and includes not only meals…but, snacks as well(of which I was surprised and tried to decline…long story there…haha) Seriously, this is beyond the kindest thing that anyone could have possibly done for me. If you haven’t seen it…how kind can someone be??? and here it is.
Whitting Meal Train
Not only have you organized this, you have been there every step of the way, come over, offered to do laundry, fed the entire waiting room, brought anything I need to me, listened to me, fielded who knows how many calls, texts, etc. from other friends and family…and that is just a start. To my Trishie-Wishie-Wishie-Wishie-Wish…I love you to the moon & back. Thank you for coming to my call & need and for traveling all the way from Ft. Lauderdale, FL to come to be with me. I appreciate you coming, for being here, for shapooing my hair (haha), for staying up talking to me, for being YOU, and for you being there for me for so long and always. To my Sarah-Bearah…thank you for listening to me for literally hours upon hours and for making me stronger. Thank you for having me to the mountains earlier this year…it was truly what I needed. Next-up…Sarah/Tara Lately (or whatever name we come up with). Missy!!!
I love you all!!!
5) To Mom & Dad…thank you for making into the person that I am and thank you for all of your help and for being there for me through all of this. I appreciate you so much.
6) To Aunt Bitsy & Uncle Gary…Thank you so much for everything you have done this Spring to help us and to help me before, through and after this surgery. I/we appreciate it so very much!!! My pre-surgery basket was the best, so thoughtful, necessary, helpful and I love it and love you guys.
7) To Mimi & Papa J…Thank you so much for all of your love, continued support…beautiful plant (which you know I love!!!) and for giving me strength. You both mean the world to me and I appreciate you so very much. I love you guys, miss you and cannot wait to see you.
8) To Granny & Papa Ross…Thank you so very much for being there for me/us/all through everything from pre-surgery to support to sending the care package that I received today…to the love, caring and courage. I love you both to the moon & back!
9) To Kristin & Jenny…You both are rock stars and I can’t thank you enough for your help with Tallon!!! Thank you also for the balloons, arrangement, food, flowers, candy, texts, love, care, support, strength, encouraging words and that is just to say a few thanks. I love you rock star ladies so much!
10) To Aunt Kim & Aunt Lynn…you are both diamonds in the rough. I love you and appreciate you and could go on and on and on. Thank you.
11) To ALL of T’s Brothers and Family- Thank you so much for everything. Jonathan…your texts have seriously been more than well-received and helpful. Carlisle’s…for your amazing artwork, bracelet and card(s) that I received just today. Thank you so much for the love, prayers and support. To the Harraid clan…thank you so much for all of the texts…and for the kiddos art/letters gift card to Papa’s and card that I also received today.  (You know us so well)  You guys rock…thank you so much!!!  And thank you Whitting clan…for all of the prayers, love & support as well. You all are so very sweet and I love you and appreciate it.
12) To Steph and Team Denmark…thank you so much for sending flowers to me all the way from Denmark. WOW! And, for the countless texts, pics, support and encouraging words. Steph, I miss you so much & can’t wait to see you. I love you Missy 100%!
13) To Auntie Ash & Uncle Michael…thank you for your tireless support, love and for being there for my entire family and for me. Thank you also for the huge Los Tios dinner for everyone. It was a hit and crowd pleaser. I adore you both and love you both so much.
14) To all of my amazing friends for everything!!! Keesha…for ALL of my plants and for your coming to the hospital, for all of your help with Matt and for making me laugh. I love you cheeeeckah! Thank you for you. Ginger…thank you for coming over and for the night before surgery making me feel better…and for the sandwich pinwheels…and for coming over this weekend and making me laugh.  I love you to bits!!!  Cindy, for getting me eggs, milk, your love and texts and support and for helping with Matt. Shawn…for the beautiful Saint necklace, story, strength, thoughts and for your taking the time to send it to me. Heather…I AM a “Fighter!” Thank you for the hat, hearts, card, and for taking the time to remember me and support me. Leslie L….for all of the love and support and caring, and dinner. You were the very first one that reached out to me upon diagnosis with the card and shirt. You are so very kind. Jessica…thank you for demanding that I call your amazing husband. One of the kindest things you could have ever done for me. Dr. Garth Beinart is awesome. Thank you also for sending cookies to the hospital with him. They were gone in about an hour. HAHA. Tandy…thank you for all of your collages, for making me laugh, for the Soma info, and also for the cookies…they also were gone in about an hour. Lisa H…thank you for the power balls…I quite need them, and now need the recipe too. Also, thank you for the food and for coming by. I appreciate it and you. Lisa L…the pink throw/shawl/care blanket is my favorite! I wore it, have snuggled with it, have it on my shoulders now and for the block and for being there for me between phone calls, texts, and your just taking the extra time to be you and there for me. Angela S. & Kristy…thank you so much for the Jimmy John sandwiches and snacks…my children and family were quite happy and it was so kind and thoughtful of you. P. Kelly…thank you for the cards (I can’t believe you took the time to send those to me! Thank you again) And, for the comfy socks which I love and heart pillow. It was so very thoughtful and kind of you. Heather M…Thank you so much for the lasagna and for being such a sweet friend. My BFF from Florida and Chris Sizemore both said it was the best lasagna they have had in years…recipe please. And thank you again for the kindness and for being there for me and my family. Joy…you were the first to bring a meal to my family when I was even still in the hospital and I thank you so very much. You have been nothing but kind, caring, supportive and encouraging. I appreciate it so much. James…thank you so much for coming to visit me in the hospital and for the beautiful floral arrangement. It was so good to see you and so great to catch up. I appreciate your care, concern and time for coming up. I appreciate it. Ellyn…for the amazing dinner this eve…and for all of the support for the past couple of months…for making me laugh and for coming out and sitting with me at the Coogs game. You are the bomb. I appreciate you being there for me…so much. Lastly…to everyone that has already agreed to help with my family…I thank you in advance. The outpouring from the community has been amazing and has left me feel nothing but love, strength, courage and support.
15) To the entire UH Network…Staff, Team, Parents, Donors & Network…I appreciate the outpouring and for you all reaching out. It has meant the world to me. Zona…Your Etouffee, roast, potatoes and muffins were off the chart. Thank you for taking the time to make it, bring it, visit, and also share your recipe. How very thoughtful. Tully Family…thank you for thinking of me and sending the beautiful flower basket. I adore you guys and appreciate it so much. Don Sanders…thank you for the big chocolate basket…LOVE IT! And, how very clever. It was so nice of you to think of me and to send this out to me. I hope to see you soon…and thank you again. Traci…thank you so much for coming by the hospital…for the UH Baseball key and for the Jolly Ranchers…which were very much needed. Butch…thank you for the continued phone calls and for reaching out and for the encouragement. I appreciate you and appreciate it. Lockhart Family…thank you so much for taking the time to send me the beautiful floral arrangement and card…and for thinking of me and wishing me well. So very sweet of you all. It meant a lot to me.
16) To Everyone that has sent me well wishes and has reached out to me on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, SnapChat, and/or text either outwardly or privately. This has given me an indication of what community means and how people come together and really do care. It is actually very encouraging and refreshing. Thank you all. I appreciate it beyond words.
17) And to Dear Katie…I truly believe you were brought into my life for a reason. You have been the example, person & story that I needed. Thank you.

Getting discharged today…drains in tow. Super intense…super sore…but I’ve got this!!! For anyone wondering…it does indeed soften the blow somehow using @Snapchat filters. Somehow being an “animal” with breast cancer somehow makes it a little lighter???

@netflix @hbo @showtime #bingewatching suggestions anyone???

#BeatTheOpponent #TaraTataTales #BreastCancerAwareness #BeatCancer #BCA @breastcancersociety @komenhouston

Strange as it may sound…I am quite relieved that the large majority, if not all of the opponent has been removed. Too bad it had to go with my tat-as…but, such is life. And while I may in pain…that “pain” in the ass (well, ta-tas) is gone. TAKE THAT BREAST CANCER!!!

Love, Tara (Minus Tatas)

Greetings from Houston Methodist. All hooked up…only a matter of time now before my #doublemastectomy Wish me luck!!! #beattheopponent #breastcancerawareness #TaraTataTales

Good Evening…well about to be morning all.  Tomorrow is the big day!  I don’t know if I am nervous (of course), happy (to be getting this finally done), sad (to be having to go through this), mad (at having to go through this), or anywhere and somewhere in between.

What I can tell you is that I have been inspired by my dear sweet Tallon “T-Ry.” This child has been TERRIFIED of swimming.  In this life, we all have fears.  Some easier to overcome than others.  But, Tallon has truly been scared to death of swimming, swim lessons, jumping in the deep end and even talking about it.  T and I have done everything from bribery, begging, talking to, and rationalizing.  Additionally, we have tried at least 3 different types of swim lessons, swim teachers, swim schools.  From our house, to academies, to working with him ourselves.  Nothing has worked.  In the past few weeks, we traveled to Puerto Rico and my sister (Aunt Tracy) set up swim lessons for Tallon & Sage.  I was like…oh boy, here we go.  Next thing I know, I get a text from my brother (Uncle Rossy) with the video I just posted above.  This child has faced his ultimate fear and is swimming.  If Tallon Ryan can swim…I can beat breast cancer.  I can do this!  Beat the Opponent.

The way I see it, we all have opponents.  Some bigger than others and some harder than others, but whatever our opponent is…the struggle is real…and we must fight and defeat the opponent.  For now, my opponent is breast cancer and I will start my fight first thing tomorrow morning.  Wish me luck!!!

Good Evening All.  Thank you so very much for all of the love & support.

Love, Tara

Interesting how you are told you can’t drink any wine the week before surgery…yet, that seems to be the time your the most stressed, can’t get your mind off of anything other than what’s about to happen, and a glass of wine would be quite nice! So, I’m an effort to distract myself…I have made a commitment to getting as healthy as I possibly can before surgery. That would include drinking lots of water, researching the best foods for pre & post mastectomy, the best foods for healing and minimizing scaring, and trying to just chill. This week also looks like fun purchases like mastectomy appropriate wear, compression arm sleeves, pajamas, prescription filling, hospital and doctor calls, labs, oh yeah..,and just trying to sleep. I feel like I can’t go to sleep…and then I don’t want to wake up. It’s like…oh yeah…there it is again. Seems to be quite a common theme. (In case I sound like a broken record. Haha)

If anyone has any additional advice…feel free. Everyone has been so very amazing throughout all of this…just even so far. Thank you.

PS-Will I ever be able to do this pose again?

#TaraTataTales

#BreastCancerAwareness

Forgive me in advance…can we just get this over and done with already?!?! OMG! It’s like I’m just READY. OFF WITH EM. Ok, yeah…NO, I changed my mind. (PS…BTW…THAT…would explain my mental game right now. Yes, Brian Cain…I’m working on it. Haha)

It just seems like I’m tired of talking about it and dealing with it. (Which, I need to get really over.). I guess I also feel like other people are probably tired of me, IT, or hearing about IT! So, perhaps I feel like I have turned into IT! Makes sense??? (Well, I HOPE NOT!)

Enough for now…I have a lot more…but, quite frankly…need to snuggle with my dear sweet husband.

PS—Coogs win 2 out of 3. YAY! AND, more ok importantly…Our Baby Tallon Ryan (T-Ry) crushed Mutton Bustin @ the Houston Rodeo!!! So proud!!!

#GOCOOGS!!! ❤️⚾️❤️⚾️❤️

So…I had the “pre-op” appt with the reconstructive surgeon office on Friday. As much as I love my Dr…I couldn’t have, nor did I realize what I was about to show up for. Let me give you the short version…the REALITY BUS RAN ME OVER AND THEN BACKED UP!!! OMG! I think it caused me to either go into either:

A). Denial (well kinda ok with that for now)

B). Reality (Sounds like a TERRIBLE idea) well I know I HAVE TO DO.

C.) YOUR SOLUTION: (Insert Answer Here)…or call/email/text/FaceTime).

In the meantime, THIS first device (called the “expander” is going to be put into my body)…Well that’s after they remove everything else…And then I’ll apparently get 4 drains (pic 2)…hanging out of my body.  And I remember the term (stitched to you) for approx 2 weeks.

I am OFFICIALLY starting to get anxiety!!! WHY ME??? I changed my mind!!! STOP! I can’t get my mind to quit!

In other news…Tallon had Bellaire Little League Opening Day…SO CUTE!!! More soon…but, in the meantime…(and in regular life-happenings)…lets go UH Cougar Baseball!!! This team and organization means the world to me!! #GOCOOGS!!! ⚾️❤️⚾️❤️⚾️